Rayni Risher

Are You A Disciple Or A Spectator?

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Have you ever climbed to the top of a steep mountain or hill? It can be tiring and daunting with potential hazards along the way. It takes time and it also takes a commitment to not only start the climb but to keep climbing all the way to the top, even when it’s difficult. At times our faith journey can feel like a long, steep upward climb, can’t it? But we can trust that if we’re following Jesus up the mountain, He will bring refreshing and that something beautiful will result from the difficulty of the climb.

Something like this happened in Matthew 5:1-2: “When Jesus saw His ministry drawing huge crowds, He climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to Him, the committed, climbed with Him. Arriving at a quiet place, He sat down and taught His climbing companions.” 

Crowds Don’t Always Mean Commitment
Jesus was aware that His ministry was drawing large crowds. The people had heard that this Jesus from Nazareth healed sick people, cast out demons, spoke with authority, and a large number of the people wanted to see this “show”. Most probably wouldn’t and didn’t want to make a radical commitment. They just wanted to hang around. Others were there in desperation to seek out healing and deliverance from Jesus—they wanted something from Him and then would return to their normal life. A smaller amount of people were there who were genuinely committed to being Jesus’ disciples, or apprentices. They were in it for the long haul.

Before He delivered one of His most talked about teachings to this day, I think Jesus wanted to see who was really with Him. He probably knew only the truly spiritually hungry would follow Him anywhere, even up a hill. The others—the less devoted—would just wait around for Him at the bottom. Wait for “the show” to resume when Jesus came back down. Those who were committed climbed with Him.

Worth the Climb
When you make a decision to go the distance with Jesus, to follow Him through the obstacles, rough patches, continue even when it’s a difficult climb, He brings you to a place where you can sit down and rest with Him and hear Him tell you something only the faithful followers got to hear. I think Jesus also wanted to get above the noise of the crowd, to a quieter place where the people who genuinely wanted to hear Him could do so without the distraction of the non-committed stragglers.The revelation from Jesus’ mouth and the time spent resting with Him was worth the momentary hardship of the climb. 

So…
Are you the committed disciple of Jesus, the spectator who wants to see a show, or somewhere in between? Are you willing to go the distance to get to that quiet place with Jesus, where you can more easily hear His voice above the din of the jostling crowd? I encourage you this week to take time to “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at Me, your High God….above everything.” (Psalm 46:10). And if you’re in the middle of a difficult stretch of the mountain…just keep going! One foot in front of the other, trusting that God will meet you there with the wisdom and refreshing only He can give.

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Help! I’m an Introvert with Extroverted Spiritual Gifts

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Hi, my name is Rayni and I’m an introvert.

I used to attend Introverts Anonymous, but usually no one would show up and if they did they didn’t want to talk. (Okay, that was joke). But being introverted is a serious business that many people don’t understand. In college I lived in a dorm on the top floor. Many mornings I chose to walk down the seven flights of stairs just so I didn’t have to say hello to anyone in the elevator. Today, if I see you in the grocery store and you haven’t seen me first, I will most likely immediately turn and walk in the opposite direction with great gusto so I don’t have to talk to you; even though I may like you.

What I’ve just shared probably sounds a bit odd or even mentally ill to all of those bustling extroverts out there. But I know the introverts are tracking with me. So, what is an introvert to do when God has clearly given you spiritual gifts that require interacting with people? You know, those “pesky” gifts like teaching, counseling and leadership that require you to be in front of or with people rather than behind the scenes?

Take Short Trips Out of Your Comfort Zone
After college I worked for two years at a church as a Campus Pastor. Looking back it is my favorite job I’ve had but at the time it was a bit overwhelming as an introvert. I regularly interacted with college students, led services and preached sermons when the pastor was away; and mentored, counseled, and prayed with students. It was a great growth experience but I found that I was continually living outside of my comfort zone with all of this “other people required” interaction.

I’ve learned that it’s a good thing to sometimes step outside your comfort zone, especially when God is leading you to.That’s where you grow. But if you constantly live outside your comfort zone its easy to go into survival mode rather than abundant life mode. Learning how to have healthy boundaries in this area will help you to live fully in the gifts God has given you.

Fill Up on God’s Strength
It’s no joke that God is full of limitless strength (Psalm 147:5) and that He wants to partner with us in using the gifts He created in us. God is glorified when we are authentically who He created us to be. I continually rely on God’s grace and strength to help me step through any fear associated with using my gifts. I invite God into the situation, ask Him for wisdom, guidance and help. He always comes through. He’s reliable like that. And it’s for His glory anyway. So, don’t be afraid to step out with God to use your gifts even if you’re feeling weak. God’s not weak. And I seem to remember some guy named Paul talking about how God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

It Is What You Make It
If I let myself get psyched out about walking up to someone new at church and striking up a conversation, I will probably make a last minute turn into the restroom to avoid them. But if I just relax, don’t think about it too much and simply say hello, more times than not it turns out just fine. In my heart I want to reach out and be welcoming. Sometimes I let my introvert tendencies get in the way, and often I reach out anyway.

I am always glad when I get past my issues and do the things God has placed in my heart to do. You can talk yourself out of doing something good or you can just step out and do the thing. It is what you make it. That goes with walking in the other extroverted gifts God has given me as well. As soon as I surrender it to God, and take that first step through the fear, my heart comes alive with doing what God created me to do. There is much joy in that. And there is much triumph in trusting God enough to make that first step.

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Five Marriage Lessons From A Newlywed

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I’ve been married just shy of two years and I’m about to offer you some marriage advice. I can almost guess what you might be thinking….Well, that’s sweet but what does a newlywed who is supposed to be perpetually lost on a puffy white cloud of wedded bliss truly know about being married anyway? While I will surely learn much more, a few things have clarified in my short time as a wife. Whether you have been married for two weeks or 40 years, these lessons relate to every relationship. So, please indulge this silly newlywed for a moment while I share five important lessons I have learned so far from marriage.

Lesson One: Be Willing To Get Counsel
Marriage counseling can be so important to the health of a marriage. Whether you had pre-marriage counseling or not it’s essential for both spouses to willingly acknowledge problems as they arise and to learn to work through them in a healthy way. Sometimes that means taking time to meet with a godly and trusted counselor to help you work it through. It does not mean “complain about your marriage to all your girlfriends and get their two cents.” Godly counsel will help you grow to be more like Jesus and will help you apply and live out biblical wisdom in your marriage.

Lesson Two: Learn to Communicate Well
Men are often given a hard time about being poor communicators. But the same can be true of women. We may talk more but it’s not always in a constructive manner! I am blessed that my husband is open to communicating and working through issues in a mature way. When we have a disagreement we don’t scream at each other and throw things. Rather, we talk about it and work through it together as a team. I’m open to him speaking into my life, and the same is true of him. Even if you or your spouse aren’t the best communicators, you can learn to communicate well. The first steps to learning are humbling yourself and admitting that there is room to grow in this area.

Lesson Three: Choose Respect
Because of God’s grace in helping me to become more emotionally healthy before I got married, I am able to show genuine respect to my husband. He also shows respect to me by listening to and valuing my opinions. When we are mad at each other or feeling emotionally hurt, we give the other some space and then talk it through. Many years ago my normal anger default would be to yell and say something mean-spirited. But even when I am tempted to do that now, I hold my tongue. Why? Because my husband never yells or says mean things to me so I want to show him at least the same amount of respect that he shows me. If you want to show respect for your spouse, you have to grow up. Take name-calling and spiteful behavior out of the equation. Remember, respect is a choice.

Lesson Four: Serve Your Spouse
When both people in a marriage regularly look for ways to serve the other then each person’s needs are regularly met. You and your spouse both have genuine needs. Some of those needs only God can meet. Other needs are meant to be met by your spouse. If one person is consistently giving while all the other does is constantly take, making it a one-sided experience, trouble will arise. But if both of you are regularly giving and receiving, each will have what they need from the other to be content in the marriage.

Lesson Five: Always Put Your Spouse’s Best Foot Forward in Public (and in Private!)
It’s universally awkward to hear someone say something mean or embarrassing about their spouse in public, even if they are “joking”. Often their spouse is not present but sometimes they are standing right next to them. This can only bring harm to a marriage. Make it a point to be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader…to everyone! This extends to family life as well. Compliment your spouse in front of your kids, to your extended family, to your friends. When you are alone together regularly tell your spouse how special they are. This goes a long way in showing love and respect and in bolstering your relationship to withstand difficult times.

One Size Does Not Fit All
Everyone has their own marriage experience…mine may be quite different from yours. Before I was married a friend told me, “Marriage is hard. It’s mostly working through difficult issues and every now and then you get a moment of enjoyment, but most of the time it’s hard.” Contrast that with another friend who told me, “If you feel like you have to work at marriage then you’ve married the wrong person.”

Hmm….talk about conflicting advice! While each marriage is different, I believe putting into practice the five lessons I shared with you can make every marriage happier and healthier. If you are married and haven’t already been practicing these suggestions, make a decision to begin. Even if your spouse isn’t on board yet you can start by being intentional about doing your part in making your marriage a better environment.

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God’s Redeeming Power

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I want to share with you a powerful and miraculous true story of God’s redeeming power in the life of someone who had “lost it all” due to her own destructive actions.

Many of you know the Christian writer and speaker Beth Moore. Her sister, Gay, is a recovered alcoholic and Gay’s personal story is shared in seven moving installments right here on Beth’s Living Proof Ministries Blog. I have linked to the final installment…once you get there you will see how to read each post in the order they were written.

Whether you or someone you know struggles with alcoholism, or you simply want to read about a life transformed by Jesus, please take some time to read it.

One of the main things Gay shares that she learned is that God kept giving her opportunities to recover, but she had to do her part in that recovery effort. Once that clicked she was able to move out of her addiction and into freedom!

John 8:34-36: “Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son (Jesus) sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (NIV)

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The Sheltering Tree of Friendship

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“The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge once described friendship as ‘a sheltering tree.’ What a beautiful description of that special relationship. As I read those words, I think of my friends as great leafy trees, who spread themselves over me, providing shade from the sun, whose presence is a stand against the blast of winter’s wind of loneliness. A great sheltering tree; that’s a friend.” -Chuck Swindoll

Friendship As a Sheltering Tree
I love that description of friendship being a sheltering tree. Over the years I have so often felt sheltered by friends as I’ve experienced difficult, sad and confusing situations. My friends are so wonderful and faithful…there to listen, encourage me and offer wise advice. I feel protected by my friends. I feel sheltered by them. And I also shelter them, as well. Just like it is a relief to retreat under a big tree on a hot summer afternoon, it is truly a relief to be cared for and protected by a friend. But what about those times when we are in a transition, find that we don’t have as many “real friends” as we thought we did, or simply have a hard time forging the bond of friendship?

Be a Friend!
Several years ago when I moved to a different state and was the “new person in town” looking to make friends, a close friend challenged me that if you are looking to build new, meaningful friendships, you should focus on being a friend first. He said, “So many people are looking for a friend to meet their needs. Stop looking for a best friend and be a best friend to someone.” I like that. Often it’s easy to feel like a victim if people aren’t reaching out to us. Yes, we all want to be reached out to and feel special…and in a healthy friendship there is mutual caring and giving….but during those times when we are forming new friendships and not many people seem to be reaching out to us, take the initiative to reach out to others. Take the time to be a friend.

Showing Honor in Friendship
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13 NIV.) Jesus demonstrated ultimate friendship when He laid down His life for His friends…us. When He was living on earth He would continually demonstrate love for His friends and show them honor by sharing His entire life with them. He was open, vulnerable and was Himself with them. He also spent time healing them, listening to them, encouraging them, lovingly correcting them when necessary. Jesus did have healthy boundaries where He spent time on His own, but He really took the time to invest in the people around Him, and to become close friends with many of them. I am convicted that I dis-honor my friends when I am slow to respond to them, don’t return phone calls, and don’t make an effort to keep up with their lives. I have noticed this recently with people who don’t live locally and who I have been friends with for a long time. It is easy to take them for granted and to be lazy in a friendship, but I really want to make a commitment to continue to honor them and maintain our friendships.

Jesus Offers Us His Friendship
Shortly before Jesus went to the cross He told His closest friends on earth, “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.” (John 15:11-13, MSG.) Not only is Jesus teaching us how to care for one another, He is naming those of us who follow Him as “friends”….and He cares for us.

So…
+What can you do to reach out and be a friend to others?

+Are you friends with Jesus? Is there something holding you back from accepting His gift and offer of friendship?

+Have you become complacent in keeping up with long-time friends? What can you do this week to show them honor and to reach out to them?

Prayer
God, thank You for creating friendship! It is so special and truly is a sheltering tree. Help me to reach out to others to form new friendships and to be intentional about honoring my friends and staying a part of their lives. Help me to take time for friendships. Most of all thank You for Your personal and precious friendship and for demonstrating through Jesus how to be a true friend. Amen.

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